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Your fertility story – where did you come from, and where are you going?
Where did you come from?
According to that “facts of life book”, you came from your parents!
But where did each one of your parents come from?
From their parents, of course. And where did they come from?
From their parents,
and their parents,
and their parents…
At some point you may lose track of the names of the people who came before you. They were all the parents of the parents of the parents that eventually became your parents. How far back in time do they go?
All of these living human beings, reaching far back from that place in time, all the way through to you, today – all are part of a continuous thread of life that extends so far that nobody alive now knows anymore who was there.
Imagine all of those generations ago – people eating, people sleeping, people worrying about things, rejoicing, planting and harvesting… The sun going up, the sun going down, the seasons changing through the years… This is your legacy. You belong to all of that.
This is all YOUR history. All of those people have lived before you, and because they lived, you have your life today.
Chinese medicine takes the long view – your fertility is a voice in the chorus of the unbroken expression of life unfolding through the generations. The power of those people has been passed on through you, and the power of nature is all around and within you. The view of the universe unfolding into the future through you – embedded within nature, within the continuum of life, is the underlying framework of Chinese medicine.
And where are you going?
When you decided to have a baby, what was your original dream?
Was it “a family” that you wanted? Do you love babies in particular? Did you imagine how it would feel to be a great grand-parent, surrounded by people who are all descended from you and your partner? Did you imagine having a close bond with a teenager, or enjoying a coffee with your grown-up child?
Whatever your original idea, take a moment now to really recall it well, bring it alive in your mind, your heart. Take some time to feel your dream.
This is where you are going.
That original inspiring thought – can you notice how you feel when that’s really alive in you?
Do you feel hopeful? Happy? Trusting? And will you dare to let yourself feel this, right now?
If you’ve been at this fertility thing for a while, you may have started doing what I call “spiralling in”. You may have dreamed about being a grandparent, but as the months go by, not seeing success, you start thinking about simply being a parent. You notice people out with their children in the playground and just wish for that. Then as time goes by, maybe you’re noticing the babies. Just a baby is all you’re asking for. Then it’s the pregnant bellies, just let me be pregnant. And then it’s the pregnancy test – just let me see those two lines or get that phone call from the nurse.
From your original dream, your inspiration, have you started “spiralling in”? Have you felt yourself pulled in towards the yes/no, yes/no – up/down, up/down – am I, or aren’t I this month…
When you’re spiralling-in, how does it feel? Tight? Restricted? Anxious?
Now draw your awareness back to your inspiration – could you feel the expansiveness of that thought? Will you let yourself feel that way again? If you can feel it now, how is it feeling in your body? Light? Open? Like you can take a deep breath?
Did you feel a moment of peace, a moment of calm? Know that this peace, this calm, is always available to you, just beneath the thoughts on the surface.
Write yourself a little note, or draw yourself a picture, to remind yourself of YOUR inspiring dream. Put that note somewhere that you can reach for it any time you are feeling tight, constricted or like you can’t see the forest for the trees.
Remind yourself – this is where I’m going.
And then breathe, and smile to yourself – and let yourself feel your peace, your calm.
Photo: Unsplash
